Monday, November 2, 2009

The Van Vs. Old Navy

Sunday morning, I got to the bus stop, waiting to go to work, fearing lateness. I was the only person outside of the shelter, but I was off to the side, so when the bus arrived, a guy around my age came out and got on the bus in front of me.

I don't know if any of you have ever played this game before, when riding the bus or standing in line somewhere, but I decided that this guy was my only potential rival for hottest guy on the bus. We have a similar build, and he was well dressed, listening to music. Then he got off the bus in the same spot as me. The connecting bus to get me the rest of the way to work just happened to be there so I hurried onto it and stood near the back door. Moments later, the same guy got on the bus and stood about 10 feet away, listening to music in his own little world, like me. Then, as we approached the stop at work, he came and stood right beside me at the door, and we got off the bus together.

At this point, I was wondering what store he worked at, and did he notice me staring at him for 15 minutes? Was he stalking me? I decided to get a lead on him, so I flew off the bus and through the door of the bus stop, holding it for him and making eye contact, then rushing down the stairs to get my lead. As I walked toward work, I heard someone following me, but two or three stores away, it sounded like the following had stopped. I got to work and tried the door, but it was still locked. As I turned to ring the door bell, I came face to face with the guy. Was he an early customer?

The manager arrived at the door to let me in, and kept the door open for buddy, but didn't allow the random girl standing at the door to come in. Buddy and I walked side by side through the entire store to the back room. Halfway, I said "Welcome to Old Navy" and he said "Thanks."

It turned out his name is Shawn, he's new, he lives on my street, and we worked together all day as I trained him in the fitting rooms. He said he didn't realize we travelled together, but I can't see that being possible. He also said he's straight and has a girlfriend, and I can't see that being possible. Neither can anyone else on staff. But he's nice, so it doesn't matter if he's lying or not.

About halfway through out shift, coworker Emily ran back to us and screamed DID YOU HEAR WHAT JUST HAPPENED!? We had not, and she went on to shout A VAN DROVE INTO THE STORE! ITS IN THE STORE!

We ran to the front of the store to see for ourselves, assuming we'd somehow missed the sound of shattering glass, screaming customers and a van ploughing into tables of knit V-neck sweaters. Instead, we saw a van outside, up on the sidewalk, lodged into the outside of the building.

Not as dramatic, but still an impressive feat. I can't imagine how hard the woman must have jammed on the gas pedal to go from parked, to climbing up onto a high sidewalk, driving across the sidewalk, scraping another car, and damaging our building. Suddenly nothing I've ever done seems quite so stupid in comparison.


Bec said...

crazy just crazy!

Darryl said...

You're still the hottest guy on the block, the city. No competition.

I "love" the damage... the building does look crappily-made. as long as it doesn't cave in, I suppose it's good. :S

The Lady Who Doesn't Lunch: said...

Wow. I totally did not see that coming at all. I didn't realize that you meant a real van. Old Navy won.

In the last couple of years I have lost all confidence in my gaydar and now am forced to either take people at their word or just talk about them behind thier backs. It's terrible.

i am playing outside said...

Lady, if they tell you that you are wrong, it is your right as a human to talk about them behind their back, since you are likely right! HAHA