Monday, February 4, 2008

The Fuck Yous

I'm normally not this angry, but the last hour of my life was pretty annoying.

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Dear Two Stupid Bitches On The Bus,


You were both standing in the doorway for several stops. The bus was packed, and I was not near a door. As we approached my stop, I asked you loudly and clearly if you would hold the door open until I was able to squeeze past people to get out. You said yes.

You did NOT hold the door for me, although both of you stared at me like dumb morons until we got to the next stop and I shoved past you on my way out the door.

Fuck you!

Love, Michael

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Dear Canada Post,

I missed your delivery on Friday morning by mere minutes. For this, I apologize. However, you left a little notice saying where I could pick up my package on Saturday afternoon. Any time after 1pm you said! That's not too bad at all!

First of all, you recently informed me that this locations was my 'new local post office location! woo!'. This location takes 35 minutes to walk to. Please let me know your definition of local.

Second, when I arrived at your new local post office location on Main St. today at 3pm, you told me that my package was not there, but it should be delivered at 5pm.

I'd like to know why my package has still not arrived 50 hours after I was promised. And now you expect me to go back in two hours to get it? I'll see you on Wednesday, and I'll be calling first.

Fuck you!

Love, Michael

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Dear Stupid Douchebag In The Green Van,

I was standing at the bus stop, several feet back from the large puddle at the edge of the road. You were driving at a leisurely pace in the center lane of the road, until you sped up, cut off the bus that was headed my way, veered toward the puddle, splashed the shit out of me, and then drove calmly back to the center lane.

You are one of the worst people in the world, and I hope your reckless driving ends up costing you dearly.

Fuck you!

Love, Michael

7 comments:

Andrew said...

I miss being that angry at people and organizations. I shall live vicariously through you in that regard.

fishinbearsuit said...

Your letters aren't in proper format, but hey what do I know, I only take this in school.

Anywho, let's send a kinda small whispered fuck you to both my college bookstore and the Baseline Transit area for not having February student bus passes, Friday, or today.

But it kinda worked out in the end, since I know realized I don't need it.

Another FUCK YOU I have is to any of my college textbooks I have never opened. Like what the hell. Teachers, you make the lesson plans, how about you either include something from the book, or tell us not to bother buying the damn thing.

That's all I got for now

The Lady Who Doesn't Lunch: said...

Dear Michael,
Wow. That is one shitty afternoon. I am sending you all my best vibes, but not by Canda Post.
Love, Lady

Stacy said...

Oh my Michael, you are quite fired up!

Hope you've had some time to relax and dry off and can now look back on today and have a little laugh.

All the best.

i am playing outside said...

hehe now that i have finished many hours of a difficult assignment, i am FINALLY trying to relax. its 1am and im still kind of in GO GO GO mode.

but tomorrow will be a fun, easy day :D

Steve said...

vent and move on.
no use harbouring anger.
i used to be big on the anger...
now i let it out, move on, and be me in the same breathe.
sounds preachy, i get it, and its easier said than done... but it makes a helluva difference.

i am playing outside said...

lol that is what the blog is for though. to rant, and then its out there and then you forget all about it. you dont need to tell anyone else unless they read the blog and ask for specifics. blogging makes the world a happy place!